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=== Over-the-top announcer
Life’s too short to just work. You need more time for yourself. Work remotely. No one knows what you’re doing, but you make it look hard. Remote. Now.
=== Every-day man (conversational)
Peace comes from within us, sure, but sometimes you need people around you who truly love their neighbors. discover-church.com
=== Dry matter-of-fact
Welcome to eLon Air. Please follow the instructions displayed on your screen. Or screw it, and have a hell of a life following no top-down rules and building an anarchistic world. Anarchy by iww.org.
=== Cartoony and charactery
I live in a world full of sunshine, full of laughter, full of friends, and full of fools. It’s Fool Time. Kids only. No parents allowed. Get your Fool Time on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts. Or visit FoolTime.com for exclusive fan offers. Fool Time is your cool time.
=== Old and young
Young man, when I was your age, sweet 24, I thought I would live forever and make love to all the pretty girls...
Okay, hold on. Young Frederick here from the future. What he forgot to tell you is that he had a hell of a life and he was able to get down to business up until his eighties. But he knew he would forget things soon, so he wrote a memo: travel to the future, save my ass.
Yep, I invented time travel, right around when Marty McFly and Doc Brown was aired in cinemas. But nobody noticed because people like stories more than reality. So there you go. Watch that damn Back to the Future trilogy again. I heard it’s on Netflix, too.
=== Deep and gravelly
Can you feel it? I mean, can you really feel it? Because I can’t. The moment I entered pension, I wasn’t the same anymore. I’ve been an artist and entrepreneur all my life, and when the fire’s still burning, I prefer to keep the candle lit. Join me on my journey to 150 years plus. EternalFlame.com. You’re lit.
=== Youthful and hip
hiiiii!!! Sammy here. I’ve got some dope news for y’all. I’m getting married!!! Florence and I will move to Italy next month and say, “YES!” I’m so excited!! By the way, today’s sponsor is The Knot. We did all our wedding planning with The Knot, and we love it! Get The Knot app on theknot.com.
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2. |
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Yeah. I feel like shit.
War.
Pandemic.
Gigantic electricity costs.
Sky-high rents.
What else?
Where can I find peace and quiet without resting in peace?
Church wasn’t the first place that came to mind. You hear so much negative stuff.
But if your life is sacred to you, stop by your local church.
Peace comes from within us, sure, but sometimes you need people around you who truly love their neighbors.
discover-church.com
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3. |
Over-the-top announcer
00:32
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Life’s too short to just work. You need more time for yourself. You need a remote job.
No one knows when you’re working, where you’re working, or if you’re even working. You also get pretty darn well paid because you deliver and sell your work results expensively in Zoom meetings.
Make a lot of money.
Don’t really work a lot.
Work remotely.
No one knows what you’re doing, but you make it look hard.
Remote. Now.
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4. |
Dry matter-of-fact
00:29
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Welcome to eLon Air.
Your safety is our number one priority.
Please follow the instructions displayed on your screen.
Or screw it, and have a hell of a life following no top-down rules and building an anarchistic world.
Anarchy is the only system that allows true democratic power of the people.
People to power.
Hands to work.
Head to think.
Anarchy by iww.org. Smart to the bone and united because an injury to one is an injury to all.
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5. |
Cartoony and charactery
00:25
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I live in a world full of sunshine.
Full of laughter.
Full of friends.
And.
Full of fools!!!
It’s Fool Time.
Kids only.
No parents allowed.
Get your Fool Time on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts!
Or visit FoolTime.com for exclusive fan offers.
Fool Time is your cool time.
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6. |
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Young man, when I was your age, sweet 24, I thought I would live forever and make love to all the pretty girls I met with an eternal boner.
But life had a different plan for me.
So I did what I had to do.
I cut it off.
I removed myself from the anguish.
Got rid of what was causing me so much pain.
Hold on.
Young Frederick here from the future.
My older self is having a bit of a breakdown.
Cut him some slack.
What he forgot to tell you is that he had a hell of a life and he was able to get down to business up until his 80s.
But he knew he would forget things soon, so he wrote a memo and transported it to me, his younger version from the past, in which he said:
Travel to the future.
Save my ass.
(And the whiny lines from above)
Yep, I invented time travel, right around when Marty McFly and Doc Brown was aired in cinemas. But nobody noticed because people like stories more than reality.
So there you go!
Watch that damn Back to the Future trilogy again, I heard it’s on Netflix, too.
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7. |
Deep and gravelly
00:48
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Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?
I mean, can you really feel it?
Because I can’t.
It stopped working.
I stopped working.
The moment I entered pension, I wasn’t the same anymore.
You know how they talk about burnout?
Well, how about burn-ing?!
I know I’m supposed to be old now and making room for the new generation soon.
But I don’t feel like dying yet.
I could perfectly be in the workplace and get shit done.
But Uncle Sam said, “Bro, you 95. Take it easy, man.”
Huh?!
I’ve been an artist and entrepreneur all my life and when the fire’s still burning, I prefer to keep the candle lit.
Join me on my journey to 150 years plus.
EternalFlame.com 🔥 You’re lit!
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8. |
Youthful and hip
00:23
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hiiiii!!!
Sammy here.
I’ve got some dope news for y’all.
I’m getting married!!!
Florence and I will move to Italy next month and say, “YES!”
I’m so excited!!
By the way, today’s sponsor is The Knot. We did all our wedding planning with The Knot, and we love it! Get The Knot app on theknot.com.
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