Young man, when I was your age, sweet 24, I thought I would live forever and make love to all the pretty girls I met with an eternal boner.
But life had a different plan for me.
So I did what I had to do.
I cut it off.
I removed myself from the anguish.
Got rid of what was causing me so much pain.
Hold on.
Young Frederick here from the future.
My older self is having a bit of a breakdown.
Cut him some slack.
What he forgot to tell you is that he had a hell of a life and he was able to get down to business up until his 80s.
But he knew he would forget things soon, so he wrote a memo and transported it to me, his younger version from the past, in which he said:
Travel to the future.
Save my ass.
(And the whiny lines from above)
Yep, I invented time travel, right around when Marty McFly and Doc Brown was aired in cinemas. But nobody noticed because people like stories more than reality.
So there you go!
Watch that damn Back to the Future trilogy again, I heard it’s on Netflix, too.
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